My First M-Pen Experience of Clarity and Connection

As background, I'm fifty years old, I meditate a few times a week, and I've tried psychedelics like LSD and mushrooms about 20 to 30 times. Sometimes during meditation or just by chance, I've had those moments where I feel a deep connection to something beyond me. And this is what I found with the M-Pen. 

In my first experience with the pen I realize I could have done a few things differently. I had too much coffee before, which made me jittery, and I didn’t meditate very long before inhaling the pen, so it was quite a surprising rush. Next time, I'd do it in the evening and meditate longer beforehand to get in the right zone. 

At the beginning, I felt anxious, like a weight on my chest. But I remembered what I usually do in deep breath meditation to calm myself down. Soon, a sense of clarity came over me. The visuals were different from what I usually see during meditation. It was more abstract and vivid. Normally, I see little flashes of light when I use a Muse meditation headset, but this time there was none of that distraction.

As the journey went on, I felt more and more peaceful. My mind was active, though, thinking about things and being aware of the unfamiliar room that I was in. I would change that next time and focus more on being present.

The most powerful part of the trip, for me, was the beginning. I had a little battle with my ego and anxiety, but as it progressed, I felt a peaceful connection. It's hard to describe, but it felt like a light connection between my upper chest and my head. Like I was locked into something greater than myself.

During the experience, I felt a strong physical and mental sensation. It was like there was an energy outline around my body, almost like it was being drawn and redrawn. I can't really explain it, but it was a powerful feeling.

Emotionally, I felt at peace and a bit joyful. It was a light and clear experience, where I could hold my ego with love and not take fear-based thoughts too seriously. It was easy to recognize and dismiss them.

My friend who gave me the pen asked if I had any messages or guidance from the journey. I mentioned that I had a moment where I slipped into a loving kindness meditation, thinking about my kids and family. It made me realize I need to work through my fears and anxieties about loss and aging. There have been a lot of deaths around me lately, and it's made me reflect on the importance of connecting with my loved ones.

When he asked if there were any other sensory experiences, I mentioned feeling a weight and tingling sensations in my body. It was like I could sense the outline of my body, kind of buzzy and tingly.

I'm grateful for the peace and clarity I felt during the journey. It reminded me of the beauty of life's impermanence and the importance of deepening my connections with loved ones. I want to approach my relationships with more presence and genuine care.

This experience opened up new possibilities for self-discovery and brought me a sense of peace and clarity. It also reminded me of the wisdom and love that reside within each of us and I realized the significance of embracing perspectives that come from love, and identifying and then transforming fear-based thoughts.

I'm excited to further explore the potential of the pen and continue my journey. It won't magically change everything, but I see it as a tool for growth and healing. I want to experiment more with it, maybe incorporating loving kindness meditation, and being in deep relaxation and awareness before using it. 

So that's the story of my first experience with the pen, just as I shared it with my friend. It was a unique and transformative journey that I will build upon in my meditation practice. 


This user story was created from an audio recording and transcript of an interview. The user’s words were run through an AI large language model to turn it into a more readable account, and the user approved the final text. The image of the user is a CGI depiction. All the names in this report were changed to ensure anonymity.

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