This is my personal account of the meditation I had after taking a full pull from the M-Pen. I recorded a voice note immediately afterwards, and later the transcript was fed into ChatGPT to make it more readable. I then added minor edits and expansions and approved the final text for publication.
This meditation followed a disappointing moment when a work proposal I made didn't turn out as planned. I felt pretty down about it because I was attached to a specific outcome.
Many of the insights I’ve gotten with the M-Pen meditations have centered around the concept of attachment. So, this time, I tried to set an intention to explore attachment further. I wanted to understand the disappointment that come with attachment when things don't go the way I want.
I took a full pull from the M-Pen and was listening to a psychedelic instrumentals playlist. It was like a blast-off experience, similar to my most intense trips I’ve had with the pen before. The music was upbeat, fun, and had a unique flow to it. I felt a side-to-side sensation as I followed along with the unpredictability of the music. I saw geometric visuals and felt a sense of chaos and order intertwined. I felt how our world is complex, intricate, unpredictable, and filled with countless variables.
As the intensity settled, I began receiving messages, which I think of as downloads from my higher self. At first, it was simply the word “invitations”, and then gradually this became more nuanced and explanatory. The overarching theme and message was crystal clear: I should make invitations to people, put myself out there, and invite them to join, connect, and engage with whatever I'm passionate about, and not attach to any specific expectations or outcomes.
If someone says yes, or shows up after receiving the invitation, that's great. I should be fully present and make the most of their presence. However, if they don't show up or decline, I shouldn't feel any sadness or disappointment. Attachment is the result of expecting a specific outcome, which is entirely unpredictable and beyond my control. It's like being upset about not winning the lottery. The chances of things working out exactly as we want are even slimmer than winning the lottery.
I imagined planning a party and getting excited about creating rich, fun, and authentic invitations for people to come. It made me realize that marketing is essentially about making meaningful invitations. My higher self was encouraging me to pour all my energy into crafting rich, authentic invitations that truly represented what I was envisioning, planning or pursuing.
Another message was also clear: I should never ask for RSVPs. Whether or not people respond or show up doesn't matter. Life and people are so complex I will never understand why someone says yes, and another says no. I have no idea what is right for them, so I should never have an expectation about what they do. The key is to put the invitation out there and let go of any attachment to the outcome.
Not getting attached to RSVPs doesn’t mean I shouldn’t send follow-ups or reminders, especially if the idea to check in with someone just pops into your head. It's okay to check in and express the hope or excitement for someone to join, but it's essential not to become attached to their response or presence. I have to maintain this fine balance between excitedly reaching out, and then letting go of expectations.
I also received the felt experience of hosting a big party, putting in lots of effort and money into preparations, and then having few people show. The message was that even that experience would be interesting and useful for me. I shouldn’t make judgements about what will constitute a success - then I have formed an attachment. All experiences are equal and valuable, and out of my control anyway.
Throughout the meditation, the word "invitations" kept repeating in my mind, resonating its significance. My soul is telling me, kind of nicely yelling at me, to just focus on making the best, most interesting and love-filled invitations for whatever ideas or vision that I have, and then enjoy whatever happens.
This “invitations” idea is in the same theme as a previous download I had gotten from pen meditations that as a marketer I should always PULL, but never PUSH. It’s so interesting that my meditations with the pen are continually addressing the limiting beliefs of my ego.
Attachment and expectation of specific outcomes are rooted in the delusion that we need things to happen, and it places our happiness outside of our own control. It’s ultimately a lack of self love, and the pen is helping me to understand how to transform my false limiting beliefs and lack of self-love into a feeling of abundance, positivity, optimism, and safety in the knowing that all is perfect and as it should be.
When I came out of the meditation, my energy had completely shifted. I had gone from feeling sad and disappointed about the proposal being rejected, to feeling filled with joy and gratitude. Gratitude was also a consistent thread throughout. I appreciate the fact that we live in a world where we can use technology to make invitations and share our passions, and people who resonate with it can join us. Whoever shows up is exactly who should be there, and I am so grateful for these opportunities.
Since the “invitations” and “pull, don’t push” ideas have been a constant theme in my meditations with the pen, I have found myself increasingly embracing this mindset in my everyday life. It's not a state of mind I'm always in, but it's gradually becoming more prevalent.
I'm so grateful for this shift in perspective. I’m lighter, more free, more joyful, more curious, more positive and more enthusiastic about making the most wonderful invitations that I possibly can. And no RSVPs needed.